Proverbs 13:24, Self-Discipline or Self-Indulgence – Which?

July 24, Proverbs 13:24 (19:18)

1 Cor. 11:30-32; Col. 3 “Chasten thy son while there is hope.”

Self-Discipline or Self-Indulgence – Which?

There is a critical loss of discipline among children. Does not the onus come back to parents? This discipline begins with the self-discipline of parents. Indulgence of children reflects the self-indulgence of parents who shirk their duty to correct their children in the right way and at the right time. “If you who love him do not bend him while he is a child, those who do not love him will break him after he has become a man” (Arnot).

1. The Root: Human nature has a bias to wrong. “Each one tends to himself, and the bent toward self is the beginning of all disorder” (Pascal). We are all children of Adam’s fallen nature. “Every vice commences in the nursery!” Thus the child becomes the springhead of a polluted river. What powerful words love and hate are here! We consider those who could hate their children to be monsters, yet we think it is perfectly all right to be charged with “spoiling” them! Such miss the intended rebuke in these words, and accept them as a compliment. This is merely to swallow the devil’s lie, hook, line and sinker. How we need to heed this Word. To spoil our children is not only not to love them enough; it is to actually hate them! Progressive thinkers, so called, may deny these strong words, and therefore they cannot solve youths’ problems because they will not deal with the root cause. “Sins are because sin is” (Tozer), explain away its origin if you can.

2. The Rod: Chasteneth him betimes. Betimes literally means at the dawn. Remember, the proverb specifies that it is his rod, the father’s, his parents’ rod, not the rod of some third party. Whatever the rod is, let it be an appropriate instrument, but to declare that you will never use it, is to be in danger of setting yourself up in opposition to the wisdom of God. The parent must “seek him early with discipline.” Chastening has come too late for many! You must fix it at the dawn of life while the tender twig still bends easily. The longer left, the harder is the remedy. We must admit that every blow a father inflicts on his child may not be true parental love, but a venting of his sinful anger. Children are like diamonds in the rough, and Oh! the regret, if we fail them! “Those who possess these should neither strike them unskilfully, nor let them lie uncut” (Arnot).

3. The Reason: He that loveth his son, for that’s the only reason for the rod and no other. Have you not witnessed parents already tyrannised by a little child? And why? Because the child soon discovers he (or she) can get away with the tantrums and disobedience without serious correction. The rod without affection is revolting tyranny. Affection without the rod is hateful, cruel treachery. This is not love for your child. It is nothing but loathsome self-love and self-ease. It is necessary for a parent to study his own character as well as that of his child’s. Here is a work that demands prayers and pains.

Thought: A child wisely chastened will love the hand that used the rod.

Prayer: Lord, help me bear the pain of this difficult work.