Proverbs 13:24, Your Child – Love or Hate – Which?

July 23, Proverbs 13:24

Heb. 12:5-11 “Ye fathers, bring them [your children] up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4).

Your Child – Love or Hate – Which?

Our verse states boldly that to spare the rod, is to hate one’s son! Do not most parents claim to love their children? Yet, if the rod of discipline is banished from our homes, what does this say about our parental love? With government-sponsored children’s rights advocates, parents, threatened with legal penalties, are now reluctant to discipline their children. The Bible, however, teaches that the right kind of discipline has an assured place in every godly home. “The shortest way to spoil children is to let them have their own way, to allow them to do wrong and not to punish them for it” (J.C. Ryle).

1. A Serious Contortion! This may well be the most misquoted verse in the Bible. It is certainly one of the most deformed. This verse does not say Spare the rod and spoil the child, as it is popularly quoted. It is not a matter of inflicting “cruel and unusual punishment” on abused children by vindictive parents! Biblical discipline must, of necessity, bring children under the influence of Christian example, instruction and discipline in the home. The school boards in our cities have a discipline problem of epidemic scope, from the lowest grades to the highest, but have also banished the rod. They have now adopted “a zero tolerance” policy, but the violence remains! Then they turn their troublemakers over to the school psychiatrists who cannot come up with a solution.

2. A Subtle Contradiction! Have you heard of the professor of psychiatry who, of course, did not believe in corporal punishment. He would sometimes scold parents on his street if he saw them hitting their children. He said we must love them. One Saturday, the professor had worked most ofthe day laying a new concrete driveway. He was just wearily clearing up the tools, when he saw a cute little boy deliberately putting his foot into the still wet cement. He rushed over, grabbed the boy, and raised his hand as though to administer a resounding slap. A neighbour woman, seeing the incident, called out: “Now, professor, remember you’re to love that boy.” “I do love him in the abstract,” he called back, “but not in the concrete!”

3. A Simple Conclusion! There need be no antagonism between the rod and love. Is this why many misquote this proverb? You don’t have to banish one to submit to the other. State it as inspiration gave it: He that loveth him, chasteneth him betimes. Paul says, Provoke not your children to wrath (Eph. 6:4). Parents must not stir up blind anger and attitudes in their children, causing them to lose respect. The word nurture means discipline, chastisement, or punishment. The admonition of the Lord denotes instruction. Paul gives Timothy as an example of instruction by his mother and grandmother who brought him up to know the Holy Scriptures. Our Heavenly Father chastens His children because He loves them. Would you rather be accused of loving or hating your children?

Thought: When correction is withdrawn damnation enters the doors.

Prayer: Lord, help me to love my children as Thou lovest me.