Lord’s Day, Vol. 5 No. 02

On Friendship

Proverbs 17:17 A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Are you sometimes sad and lonely because you think you have no friends? Do you often wish you could enjoy yourself as do others in the company of dear friends, without that wall which seems to keep people away?

Consider this statement: “Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity. (George Washington 1732-1799).

If you are lonely for the joys of true friendship, then here is glad news. God wants you to know the joys of true friendship! His Book shows you the road to friendship if you will only walk in it.

King Solomon made this observation in his old age, Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”

Do you not remember the wonderful passage described by the disciple John? In that passage, Jesus placed the friendship as the highest gift He could give to His disciples. They had undergone trial and tribulation with Jesus. And He turned to them and gave to them the highest earthly honour He could bestow:

John 15:12-15 “This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.”

The way of the Golden Rule had made them the friends of Jesus. And that way, faithfully followed by you, can take you, a sometimes lonely, unhappy, friendless man or woman, and transform you into a happy, joyous child of God with faithful friends on every side.

Proverbs 17:17 A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Literal translation: All the time loving the friend, and a brother for distress is born.

Observe firstly the emphasis of the author is the phrases placed at the beginning of the sentence “all the time” and “a brother”. A true friend is characterized as one who loves all the time, not sometime or most times but every time. Such a friend is called a brother. This is a term of endearment. He is seen during the time of adversity to render useful help.

A friend, a sincere and hearty friend, loveth at all times, not only in prosperity, but also in adversity, when false friends forsake us.

A brother, who is so not only by name and blood, but by brotherly affection, is born for adversity; was sent into the world for this among other ends, that he might comfort and relieve his brother in his adversity. So, this proverb compares a friend with a brother, and shows that a friend does that freely, and by choice, which a brother does by the force and obligations of nature. So, the sense is, He is a friend at all times, but in adversity he is more than all ordinary friend, even a brother.

Friends must be constant to each other at all times. That is not true friendship which is not constant and not sincere. Those that are fanciful or selfish in their friendship will love no longer than their humour is pleased and their interest served, and therefore their affections turn with the wind and change with the weather. Swallow-friends, that flies to you in summer, but are gone in winter; such friends there is no loss of. Job saw the reality of shallow-friends, relatives in the midst of the greatest trial in his life.¹

Be caring and look out for one another in affliction: A brother is born to succour/relieve/help a brother or sister in distress. He may the more sensibly feel from their burdens, and be the more strongly inclined and engaged, as it were by instinct, to help them. We must often consider what we were born for, not only as men, but as in such a station and relation. Who knows but we came into such a family for such a time as this? A friend that loves at all times is born (that is, becomes) a brother in adversity, and is so to be valued. Therefore, go slowly to the entertainment of thy friends, but quickly to their misfortunes.²

CONCLUSION

(1) Friends must be constant to each other at all times.

(2) Be caring and look out for one another in affliction.

Yours lovingly,

Pastor Lek Aik Wee

¹ Denis Gibson, Go for the Life that Wins!, D. & E. I Gibson,

² Charles Bridges, Proverbs, Banner of Truth Trust, 1994, 267-269.