Proverbs 14:10, Solitariness of Grief

August 9, Proverbs 14:10

Rom. 5:1-11; 1 Cor. 2:9-11 “God will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able” (1 Cor. 10:13).

Solitariness of Grief

A woman, whose husband of fifteen years had unexpectedly died, was devastated. “If one more person tells me they know exactly how I feel, I think I’ll scream.” They don’t know! They couldn’t know! Her pain was her own. No one else could share it. Recall the case of Job’s grief and his comforters, who, when they saw him they knew him not, so acutely had he changed under his grief. So they sat down with him upon the ground seven days and nights, and none spake a word unto him (2:11-13). This is the message of our proverb today. Every heart carries its own special grief or joy. Surely the one absolutely private event is death, and yet, “the worst of a saint is passed when he dies” (Swinnock)

1. Sorrow’s Depths: The heart knows its own bitterness (mara). “Great sorrows roll as the deep river, underground.” When Naomi and Ruth returned to Bethlehem it is said, All the city was moved about them, and they said, Is this Naomi? She had clearly changed so much. Then Naomi replied, Call me not Naomi (Pleasant); call me Mara (Bitter), for the Almighty hath dealt very bitterly with me (Ruth 1:19-20). At such times every soul needs a place of solitude, a private apartment, as it were. There is, in Western culture, a “concealing instinct” of grief. Even the Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief shared His sorrow and grief with no one but His Holy Heavenly Father. Who else would have understood? Matthew Arnold was wrong when he penned these words, “Dotting the shoreless watery waste, we mortal millions live alone.” “Not so!” has been the experience of countless of God’s saints, for, in that special time of need, they have known the balm of the Presence of God. The believer can sing, “Let sorrow do its work; send grief or pain,” for trials are the ballast of life. Luther believed: “You learn your theology most where your sorrows take you.” Or as another put it tersely: “Let me be a sorrowing saint, rather than a merry sinner.” The greater the soul, the deeper is the loneliness that it cannot share. Be careful how we judge our brethren!

2. Joy’s Heights: A stranger doth not intermeddle with (share in) his joy. There is One who is not such a stranger. Is there any bitterness of soul that the Saviour does not feel with you, and provide His unfailing support to bear it? If only we would “lay our head to rest on the bosom of omnipotence” we would leave our griefs and cares with Almighty Love. Spurgeon listed the following joys: pardoned sin, vanquished evil, perfect reconciliation with God, accepted service, answered prayer, peace in time of trouble, and the joy of communion with God. Suffering times can be precious times for God’s dear children. “Joy are our wings; sorrows are our spurs.” God promised: “They shall rejoice from their sorrow” (Jer. 31:13), “and the days of mourning shall be ended” (Isa. 60:20). Paul says, Rejoice in the Lord alway (Phil.4:4) because you will always have cause for joy in Christ?

Thought: “None knows the weight of another’s burden” (George Herbert).

Prayer: Lord, thou only knowest me altogether, and that’s the best.