Proverbs 9:7-9, Reproof: How to Give It and Take It Too!

April 9, Proverbs 9:7-9

1 Sam. 15:10-14; 1 Tim. 3:16-17 “Faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Pr. 27:6).

Reproof: How to Give It and Take It Too!

Someone has well said: “The most difficult area in friendship is letting a man see his faults and errors, which should, if possible, be so contrived that he may perceive our advice is given to him, not so much to please ourselves as for his own advantage. The reproaches, therefore, of a friend should be strictly just, and not too frequent.” How practical are these instructions, and how very pertinent still? Remember, all men, even the wisest and best, sometimes need reproof but do we have the wisdom to do it? Too many friendships are lost and churches harmed by wrongly handled reproofs.

1. Harmful Reproofs: Wisdom warns her maidens, and all messengers of the Gospel, that they will meet with scorners and wicked men (vs.7-8). They are to summon them, but are not to pursue them by telling them their faults. Reprove not the scorner! These only mock the message and misuse the messenger. Few can stand their malicious eye when they become, our enemy. a. The Recognition of Scorners: They have no spiritual light. They are self-ignorant, proud, without modesty or tenderness for others. They laugh at the good and boast of their evil. They rejoice in iniquity and glory in shame. The wicked man is the same. Solomon intends by these expressions to point to those in the lowest grade of sin, hardened and incorrigible. There are scorners, however, who are ignorant rather than willful. Paul was an ignorant scorner, and how bitterly he regretted it (1 Tim. 1:13-15). The Jews, on the other hand, would hear no reproof, and willfully turned their backs on everlasting life (Acts 13:45-50). b. The Realisation of Ambassadors: They must realise that such reproof is often love’s labour lost and only brings the reprover more remorse and abuse. You have trampled on a snake that will send more of its venom into you. They become incensed and you receive only malice in return. Their pride was pricked. You have struck a piece of wood that flies up and hits you. They are like the lady who didn’t like what she saw in the mirror and so smashed it.

2. Helpful Reproof: Reprove a wise man (vs.8-9). Thankfully the Heralders meet others who accept their call to the banquet. The wise person prefers honest rebuke to hypocritical praise. False men love fawning, but true men prefer fidelity (Ps. 141:5). Arnot calls this a double blessing. “It is one to him who gets reproof, and one to him who gives it.” The wise man will love the one who can, with sensitivity, show him his faults. Judging from this, are there many wise men among us? Reproof requires instruction (v.9) and a special wisdom on both sides. Rare indeed, but how precious when found! Recall how Samuel acted when he had to rebuke his King. He cried unto the Lord all night, and waited until morning to utter it. What a good example for all! Let reproof never be attempted except in the spirit of genuine humility. Where the mind of Christ is genuinely present, it cements a bond of warmest affection and trust. “The way to know when to reprove men, and when to abstain, is to love” (H. Martyn).

Thought: Sins must fall on the sin-doer or the Sin-Bearer.

Prayer: O Lord, keep me responsive to Thy rebukes.